The Mail Man Horror

Another week, another Flash Fiction Challenge.  This week is Spin the Wheel, roll the dice of fate and get your number.  Mine was Home Threatened.  Check out Chuck Wendig blog for an excellent selection of stories.

The Mail Man Horror

“Oh me, oh my, I love my butter and bread.” A tiny figure whirled around in a small room with little windows cut into the north and south walls. The wings fluttered as he put the dime plate on a counter made of dice. The glittering hands pulled out two jars one filled with yellow, and the other golden. He picked up the edge of a bread crust dipping it in the soft butter, and the gooey honey. With a big grin on his angular little face he shoved into his huge mouth. “Yum, yum, in the tum tum.”

He weaved across the house and settled on a packing peanut. He closed his eyes and pulled a ratty piece of cloth over him. Not a minute passed when a loud scraping sound awoke him. Large white pieces of paper with scrawl written on them were shoved into his house. He let out a shriek. “I hate the mail man.”

A loud, cheery humming filled his home. As the flap was shoved close with a bang. “Only two houses left to go.” A loud, happy voice boomed above his home. “And, then I get to go home to the lady.” A quieter scrapping noise as a red plastic blocked his window.

“Oh you.” Tiny figure sat up. His hands resting on his hips. “I’ve hexed him, put a rash on him, made him sick, made him turn blue, and he comes back anyway. And soon, the big people will be back.” His bright yellow eyes got big and wet. “And, they pull out the white paper shoving my things all about. Unfair, unfair I say. I must do something. The other brownies would only laugh. They had no trouble living in human-homes. He didn’t get along with his assigned family at all. Their cat, Nuzzles, was always trying to eat him. And there was this horrible, insidious mail man. Would his torment never end?

For a bit he sat on his bed and considered fleeing. Yet, he liked his metal home. The only thing he didn’t like was the hard big pieces of paper that got put in and out of it. “Oh, oh, oh, that’s the answer. If my house was not there to put paper in, then they wouldn’t do it anymore.”

The excitement in his belly dried up when he realized he didn’t know how to make that happen. The home sat on a post, and a few strange large, block letters were written on the side of it. He tried to scrap the letters away before. The humans put them back up within a day or so. The mail man still came. The post, that must be it. Because, it was on the post. If he could get off the post that would make all difference in the world.

He wasn’t strong enough to get the home off the post. He had some small magic, but not enough for that. “Nuzzles!” On his feet, and shoving down the door. Nuzzles was big, overweight, and strong. The only thing Nuzzles bothered to chase was him. Yes, he could lure it out home, and have it knock house off the post. Plus, Nuzzles would get hurt, that made the idea even better.

Bright sun filled him with joy as he rushed forward in the warm air. Little lavender, and blue sparkles followed him, reminding him why he was called Two Color. Being different from the other brownies was hard. They got along with big people, humans. Pets didn’t bother them. And, they didn’t live by themselves. Oh, well Two Color could be wonderfully different this time, instead.

On the big white porch Nuzzles was curled up on a cushioned wicker chair. His big black strips contrasting against his barely brown fur. His tail tucked under his chin. “Hey stupid.” Two Color announced floating a few feet away from his enemy.

Nuzzle opened a green eye, and then another. She stretched in a slow, drawn out motion. Her tail made lazy turn around her. “Meow.” Big paws swatted at the air near him.

“Come and get me, stupid face. I’m tasty, tasty.” Two Color shot a beam at the Nuzzles’s sensitive nose.

A growl rumbled Nuzzle’s chest. A pink tongue flicked out to lick her nose.

Two Color took off at half speed, he could hear Nuzzles bounding behind him. He smiled, then let out a yelp when Nuzzles almost landed on him. “Oh you.” He shouted his arms flying up in the air. He flew higher landing on top of the home.

At first Nuzzles paced around the home making irritating, chripy noises. Then those eyes narrowed with deadly intent. Nuzzles settled down on her haunches as they began to dance up and down.

Two Color was thrilled. His moment of freedom was near. No more mail man. He jumped back ducking around the side of the home.

A clanging sound as Nuzzles let out a yelp, the claws not finding a grip on the smooth metal. “Yowl,” Nuzzles screeched as the house began to tip.

Two Color knew it was now or never. With a touch of his magic he weakened the hold of home. Nuzzles and home went flying. Most of his furniture flew out of home, along with the invading white paper, and home crashed in the long grass in the ditch covered by tall plants. Nuzzles slammed into the side of the weathered fence. In response, Nuzzles out a hiss, clawed the wood, and took off running back to the house.

Two Color clapped with joy. He’d have to spend the afternoon looking for his things, but it’s been worth it. The mailman would trouble Two Color no more.



Filed under Babblings, Writing Challenges

2 responses to “The Mail Man Horror

  1. Aww, poor Two Color, so harassed by the big folk and their pets 🙂 I liked how small and homely this story felt, and your little brownie made me smile with his plans and observations.

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