The weeks following were filled with moments of sheer elation, and utter terror. Some days I felt better than I had in years. Others I felt bogged down by the weight of the world. A strange time when Viirra and At consoled me. My powers grew, both of them claimed. I even managed to put my own mental barrier.
I spent most my time learning how to control my body. The old injuries still ached. I desired to live without pain.
At stood across from me, his temper getting higher. His teeth showing in a grimace as I panted. “Rilas, you need to spiral down to your core. You can’t affect it from the outside.”
“I don’t know what that means. I said that last time. Why don’t learn to listen with that big brain of yours?” My temper wasn’t feeling much better either.
A throaty grunt as he slammed both furry fists onto the arms of his chair. “Focus inward. Try that.”
I swallowed my next words and did as he asked. I knew I shouldn’t be so snappy, but my body ached as well as my head. I cleared my mind, it took a while. Soon it was blank, white wall. I let my mind drift down, and away from me. I pretended I was in my heart listening to its beat. I became a blood cell being tossed down my veins. I expanded outward, my mind was my body. I was one. I willed my body to grow, and repair my old breaks. A searing pain awoke me from my trance.
I fell out of my chair onto the floor. The pain radiated from every joint. I let out a yelp.
At kneeled beside me. His hands hovered above me. The pain lessened. “Rilas, you did it!” His voice high pitched with excitement.
“Why does it hurt so much?’ I could barely speak.
He lifted me up in his gentle way. After getting me settled in my chair again, he knelt beside me. “You told them to heal, and they did, but to fast is all. They’ll hurt more than usual for a few days, but soon you won’t have morning aches anymore. I’m proud of you.”
I wasn’t sure what prompted him to say that. At didn’t seem the type to burst out emotionally. “I don’t understand why you should be.”
“You calmed yourself. I realize you are prone to staying mad. Then, you managed to do as I asked. You have only been training a few weeks. It is quite impressive. You never are stopped by adversity. You are worthy Go On Don.” At pronounced.
To that I managed a weak smile. At believed the Go On Don were the best the galaxy had to offer. To him it was a wonderful compliment. From Viirra I learned they were as flawed as everyone else. Still, he meant well, it is all I could reasonably ask. “Thank you, At.” I coughed a bit.
“I’ll help you to your room.” He started to help me up without waiting for me to respond.
I shook him off. “Let me try out more powers. I have the ability to convince my mind I’m well, right?” I thought that was how he described it to me earlier.
At nodded. He looked nervous shuffling from foot to foot. I ignored it. It took me several minutes to connect with my center. I became each separate heartbeat. I told each one I felt fine. The pain was nothing. It meant nothing. Each time I repeated the phrase I started to feel better. I opened my eyes with triumphant. “Okay, I’ll walk back to my room myself.”
With a reluctant shamble At got out my way. “I think perhaps you are too stubborn. You might hurt yourself.”
“I’m too old to be mothered.” I said as I made my way out the door.